The relationship between the actor and the agent

To understand the relationship between an actor and his talent agent, I have decided to explain by dissecting an infamous joke. As you read, you will understand that there is truth behind all humor, but it is the lack of truth which provides the humor.

~ An actor comes home and finds his home ransacked...

[First let it be known, actors do not own houses. Mortgage companies rarely see acting as a profession worthy of an investment risk. And since most actors are on the go, and rarely have time to clean up the clothes, costumes, bags or make-up strewn about their living space, how would this actor know if his home had been ransacked at all?]

~ He find his wife and kids are tied up...

[An actor has a wife and kids? Maybe she showed up to drop off the kids for a visitation. Marriage and actors rarely mix. And if this actor was married with kids, she would have a job. And if she was working to support his career, she would show animosity and make him quit. Thus it would be a two income home and they could possibly afford a better security system.]

~The actor removes the duct tape on his wife's mouth...

[Need I ask why a man in his right mind would go to the wife first? She will give him an earful in due time. So he should have untied the kids, fed them and got them to bed first. Then he could take all the coming verbal onslaught that he was due and the kids would not be crying and hungry.]

~She tells him that his agent came to the house and did all this...

[As you can see the set up is leading to a very simple punchline. So let's sidetrack here and talk about gas prices. I believe gas should cost $1.18 at the pump. There is no reason that it should not. Gas prices are based on what the retailer/wholesaler believe that costs will be like in the near future. Well I say, what if in the future a voice (from the great beyond) sounds off and tells us specifically how to harness nuclear fusion? And what if the cost of energy becomes be pennies on the dollar and we could sue the big oil and gas companies for gouging consumers? Well, we would probably have to be taxed by the government to cover a larger defense budget used to protect us against countries that can now move, work and grow without our control. {Yes! Energy is a control issue!} Well? Then the whole point of gas and future prices would be mute. Now...back to the joke.

~PUNCHLINE: Actor says, "My agent came to the house?"

[Agents do not come to the house! They do not care, coddle or Jerry McGuire any of their clients unless that client has the potential of making them money. Agents would not drive to an actor's house, they wouldn't know the address. If they did, actors would be paid quicker since the checks would be mailed to the right place. Agents would be too drunk to tie a good sturdy knot. Agents fear spouses because they already plot to destroy the agent's money maker's career. So this could not take place. Making it more a fantasy, then a joke based on any reality.]

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