You are worthless. You are not deserving of happiness. All the faults that were insinuated were true. You could not make anyone happy. You were wrong. You don't know anything. You were horrible as a friend, a confidant and even worse a lover. Now that all of that garbage is out of the way, it is time for the truth. You are a person. You have the right to be treated with respect. Never forget that. Ever! There is no formula for a good break up to any relationship. It seems that the break up of a relationship that lasted only a matter of days or weeks can be just as painful as one that lasted over the course of years or even decades. Cast civility to the winds, there is no joy in dissolving any relationship.
We are all victims of our own emotions. When we are abandoned, we feel the distance. When we are abused (physical or verbal), we feel the hurt. When we have decided to move on, we must clear it with our inner being. Sometimes we fight to maintain a sort of normalcy, keeping things status quo, though our lives lead us elsewhere. So why do break ups hurt? Because your partner, or better stated, your relationship was part of your being. It is hard to change yourself or even picture yourself heading out into the unknown, to some a scary proposition, to others a reprieve.
All relationships are organic. Like a beautiful flower, they have to be nurtured, watered and given the right amount of fresh air. But as the seasons change so do certain emotions. Can a relationship survive the hardships that come financially, emotionally, socially, spiritually and even physically. Is it true that a woman wants a man to change and a man wants a woman to stay the same? Maybe not, because in effect, it can never happen. Change is always inevitable.
There are 5 easy steps to surviving and moving on after a bad break up. They are listed here. Follow the steps that best suit you and you can shorten the duration of the "repair" time to any emotional hurt following the break up itself.
#1 People break up. It happens everyday. Your hurt will be no more or less emotional than that felt by any other going through the same thing. It is just a matter of extremes. Since a great number of people do go through (and eventually survive) a break up, find someone out there to talk to who can really relate to where your head (and heart) is at the time. Talking things out, much like confession, is good for the soul.
#2 Bad mouthing your partner is not getting you to closure in the relationship anytime sooner. Take the high road, even though it feels more self-rewarding the other way.
#3 Look ahead with hope. Don't settle for something too quick. Lots of people try to move on from one relationship by accepting anything that comes along. It feels better than what they just left. Settling is only cause to extend the ill feelings of the bad relationship and the possibly adding the feeling you lack self worth.
#4 There is no time frame in getting over a bad relationship. Some take a second, some take years, even some take a lifetime. Your sense of closure will come with its own clock. Respect your emotional time clock. If it hurts for awhile, let it out. But when you are ready to move on, be prepared to stop winding the clock.
#5 Forgiveness and acceptance. These are the key to emotional repair after a bad break up. First, forgive yourself. You are a GOOD person. Whether you believe it, or have been told otherwise. Accept that any relationship is part of your make up, but does not define you as a person. You do not need others to complete you. They can enhance and fulfill your life, but when it comes down to it, accepting yourself totally puts the whole repair process in gear.
There is an adage that states 'Time heals all wounds', to which Groucho Marx replied "Time wounds all heels!" How you decide to repair yourself after a bad break-up is going to be based on just how much you are going to allow yourself to accept the pain of a bad relationship. Let the hurt go. Let your happiness grow. You are worth it!
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