Solving the US housing market situation

OK! So your $290,000 house has been estimated to be really worth $145,000. Shocker! You try to sell it, but will never make up the difference. Your credit goes bad, you cannot find a new lender, it's time to lease a house or even look into an apartment. Ah! The infamous housing bubble. Instead of just sitting and waiting out the market or some miracle mortgage bailout, here are 3 extreme alternatives to take into consideration.

1. COMMUNAL LIVING. It was used throughout history from the Dark Ages to the Middle Ages and beyond. In fact during the Middle Ages, the rich Baron or castle owner (our representatives, sports stars, celebrities and CEOS today) would have the peons live outside the castle in their own communities. When danger reared its ugly head, they could find shelter in the castle. Then it was back to gleaning the fields.

Communal living is better explained to be many people or families whose day to day lives are intertwined with responsibilities and commitments to the community. Some will cook, some will clean, some will build, some will tend to the children, some will gather, some will remove the refuse, and some will keep order. A peace loving community was seen as utopia during the 60s. The independence of the 70s and the personal greed of the 80s has laughed at those ideals. Now as we sit on the precipice of the largest correction in our nation's (and maybe the world's) history, it may not be all that outdated an idea.

Unfortunately Communal Living has developed a bad rap over our not so distant past with these examples:

1. Jimmy Jones and Jonestown Kool-aid

2. Manson Family

3. Waco ATF debacle

4. Polygamist child interventions

Ok! There is a difference between a life style choice and religious conviction. But all in all, communal living is no different than when you would find 4 generations living together under the same roof during the last Great Depression. truly there is strength in numbers.

2. THE LAW of DEPRECIATION

You buy a car and unless you hold on to it until it becomes a collector's dream or classic, it will depreciate in value. Why doesn't the same apply to homes? Let's set aside an argument about the value of land in a world with exploding population growth and focus on the house. The home owner can make repairs, add additions and stay on top of its upkeep, but at some point it will start to deteriorate. Plumbing, paint, mold, roofing, foundation or attic problems will devalue a house. But, says the market, a house will appreciate in value double every 10 years. Sounds good in theory, if our income did the same.

While we are in this major national financial correction, why not depreciate houses? Mortgages must reduce over time as the value of the house slides after 10, 20 or 30 years. Your don't pay the same price (or high insurance rates) today for an old beat up 1976 Gremlin as you would for a 2010 Cadillac. Why pay more for a house that is 60 years older than a comparably sized new one? The land? The investment? The neighborhood? The schools? The location, location, location? It's time to add back in the depreciation factor.

3. THE NATIVE AMERICAN/TRIBAL NOMAD

We don't own the land.

We borrow from the land.

Take only what we need.

Leave no scar on the land when you leave.

Well! If you have picked yourself up off the floor from laughing because you just got back from IKEA and the idea of leaving the comfort of your couch and $120 a month cable bill is just insane, I suggest that you step outside and try this experiment. You must stay away from your house for 6 - 10 hours. No car. No cellphone. Just you and what you immediately have with you right now. Could you do it? Probably not. Most people can't. Not because we have all become so civilized that we don't need to exert ourselves in such a fashion, it is because we are no longer geared to doing this. The experiment is less a lesson on comfort and complacency as it is on our evolution as a people. Fast food, disposable relationships, digital social networking; we are not the same people of 40, 60, 70 years ago. And with a coming correction in the economy, maybe we are going to have to gear ourselves (or at least our mindset) back to that time. We will probably not revert to a race of people following some buffalo herd for our very existence, but we may learn the value of taking only what we need.

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Your Final Fuzzy Handcuff Maid Service

With the rash of news reports concerning recent celebrity deaths... and photos of moving vans in front of Michael Jackson's home, I have decided to use my marketing skills to promote this service... "Your Final Fuzzy Handcuff Maid Service".

If you should die relatively young and completely unexpected, our group of confidential cleaners will come into your selected home, apartment, houseboat, love tryst, love shack, hotel room and clean out any incriminating evidence you may have left behind before heading off to the Great Unknown and afterLife.

Porn?.. we'll get it out of there. Toys?... who needs to know your favorite choice or even the size of your collection. Pictures of anonymous loved ones?.. not even a frame. Little black book?... your little secret is safe with us!

Your Final Fuzzy Handcuff Maid Service removes incriminating spills and spots. It removes awkward wardrobe selections. And of course, farm animals.

Just make us a set of keys... or leave us a larger envelope ($$$$$, wink wink) ... and we will make our own.

We guarantee we will have your place cleaned up and out before the arrival of any relative, tax collector or law enforcement agent or official.

This service gets the Grandmother Seal of Approval! (Your grandma could hold a tea party or Bible study in your place after we get through with it.)

Why embarrass the people you leave behind? Enroll in Your Final Fuzzy Handcuff Maid Service today!

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How To Curb Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Your heart is racing. You can't breathe. You feel your chest tightening. You have a sense of vertigo. You think you are having a heart attack, but you come out of it in about 15 minutes or less. What was that? You ask yourself. You have just experienced a panic attack.

The medical explanation is your adrenaline goes into overdrive. The historical explanation is that as cavemen we needed this adrenaline rush to protect ourselves from predators. The basic explanation is that we are running the 100 yard dash while not moving at all. Anxiety or panic attacks are more common than most people would believe. It is the body's way of reacting to an over abundance of perceived or unperceived stress. The stimuli that sets off such an attack can be simple to explain or deep rooted. Living through a panic disorder can be terrifying. And though it can never be cured totally, the symptoms can be managed throughout a life time.

Here are some basics to an anxiety attack. Write them down. Keep them near you until you can recite them by heart!
1. No one has ever died of a panic attack! You are not dying!
2. Millions upon millions of people have had panic attacks. You are not alone.
3. Panic attacks usually last 2 - 10 minutes and go away about as quick as they come on.
4. You can never be cured of panic and anxiety. It is always with you. It is up to you to deal with the severity.
5. Find out what trips your panic switch and offset that place, person or behavior with some kind of replacement.
6. Use visualization to calm yourself down before an episode takes hold.

Here is a great visual exercise:
Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth 3 times. Hold your breath for 10 seconds on your last breath and release that breath to a slow count of 10. Now imagine to mountains with an ocean between them. Most anxious people will visualize the waters being rocky or wavy, just calm the waters and make them glass like and serene. You will have actually calmed down your mind by doing that exercise. Relax.

7. The Worry Hour! Devote just one hour of your day to worrying. This is best around the time you wake up in the morning. Get down on yourself, visualize your problems and obstacles in your life all for one hour. That's it. The rest of the day you can not think about your problems. You will have to store and save them for your worry hour tomorrow! After awhile, your worry hour gets shorter and shorter until it is just a few passing thoughts that irritate you. You have managed your worrying day by day.

8. Laugh! When did you send the kid inside you off to their room? When we were kids we played, we laughed, we had fun. When did all that get replaced by drugs or alcohol or the coolness of being an adult? It's time to get back in touch with the kid inside. They have been missing you. If you can't laugh and play, get a hobby, meet new friends or just change your karma altogether!

9. There are people who have suffered with panic attacks. But there are a lot of people who have not. Don't try to explain your disorder to people who feel helpless in helping you because they can not comprehend or understand the nature of the disorder. There are people and groups out there willing to listen and share experiences with you. Don't complicate or stress yourself out by looking for help from someone who can not walk you through steps 1-6.

10. Is there medicine? Sure! Paxil is one. Buspar is another. But don't think you are going to resolve your issues with just a pill. You need to balance out the chemicals with a counselor or therapist. Talk therapy is the best way to resolve many issues. Confession is good for the soul. Shutting the adrenaline valve is where it should take you.

When all else fails, re-read all of this when you feel worrisome and remember this... I suffered from the disorder for 20+ years until I learned the secret of just how these steps really work! I have now been worry free for over 20 years! You can do it! I did!

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Another Celebrity Death

OK Baby Boomers... There goes another one. Impressionist Fred Travalena dies of cancer. I have figured the cause of it all..Ed McMahon, David Carradine, Michael Jackson, Farrah, Billy Mays and Fred Travalena... Johnny Carson has hired a new booking agent for his show in heaven!

Jon and Kate + 8 Disintergrate?

Where did it all go wrong? Jon and Kate Gosselin have filed for divorce. Was it her bitchiness? Was it his lack of enthusiasm? Was it the pressure of raising 8 kids in the spotlight? Or was it the media?

The transformation of frumpy Kate to media darling (or limelight hog) was a TV gem to millions of reality viewers. Here was a woman who could balance writing books, interviews, and finding time to reinvent herself... all the while being a caring and giving Mom to a pack of cute, but sometimes hard to distinguish between, children. She wasn't mean, she was firm. She made the reverse mullet hairdo the craze for the woman who could do it all. Except keep her husband.

The tabloids tore Jon apart. Lazy, bored and a roving eye. He was just not that into the concept of the show anymore. He was having an affair. But it was all too much for him, living in the fishbowl called media spotlight.

Now when it comes to the Gosselin Circus... don't cry for me Argentina! These people brought it onto themselves. They became media hogs who happened to have signed on the dotted line. Egos? Maybe! A quick buck? Maybe! Caught up in their own media hype? Definitely.

I was shocked when I saw all the people lining up to meet Kate at a recent home show. TLC and the Jon & Kate + 8 producers did an A+ job in selling this woman as an everyMom. While fans fawned.. I asked... where were the kids on this tour? With Jon? With show wranglers? What is she selling in these books? How to be a good mother while out on a national book tour? Was she just trying to imitate Bonnie Hunt (while Jon was playing the Steve Martin role) from the Cheaper By The Dozen remake? To me there was a certain uncertainty about a woman who could hawk books about the hardship in the day to day rearing of 8 kids all the while not being at home rearing 8 kids.

Is the show over? Not at 5 million viewers a week, it's not over by any means right now says the TLC Channel. When you find a money maker on cable TV, you milk that golden cow until its udders fall off.

I just hope that Kate's next partner will be accepted just as quick and as favorably as Kelly Ripa was when Regis divorced Kathy Lee during the run of their hit show.

As for Jon, if the show survives with him on it, it won't be from his popularity. The show's train wreck success comes from Kate's trademark whining. But dear Jon, look at it this way... Lucy didn't need Desi to appear in any of her post divorce/post I Love Lucy series either.

And yes.. let's say it in unison... At this point... It's time to look out for the kids' welfare! But really.. wasn't any concern for them thrown out the window when they were made pawns by being raised in this media circus? Quiet! It's interview time!

Reality TV gets real with the divorce of Jon and Kate... now can we watch how divorce lawyers make money milking the system? Wait! This series may just be informational and do good after all.

HOW I SAWZ IT PAGE

Remembering television in the 1970's

The TV era of the 1970s was filled with social issues, bubble gum, and spin offs. It was the time when Aaron Spelling, Norman Lear and Garry Marshall ruled the air waves. Comediennes made their mark. Sports themes would abound. Variety shows flourished. And some Bicentennial moments leading to one heck of a party.

Coming out of the psychedelic 60s, The 1970s were an era of social change. It was reflected no better than in its television show of the decade, All in the Family starring Carrol O'Connor as Archie Bunker. The gloves were off and Norman Lear pulled no punches. This was not Jackie Gleason. This was not Robert Young. Here was a bigot of a man speaking his mind and throwing his working man attitude out every week on our TV sets. It covered a lot of social issues that had never seen the light of day in any previous TV or radio broadcast script. There were episodes that covered heavy themes like racism, homosexuality, rape, abortion, draft dodging and more.The popularity of All in the Family led Lear to create a plethora of spin offs during that time. The Bunker's African American neighbors, the Jeffersons, moved on up to the East side and created one of the most popular and long running shows on TV. Edith Bunker's cousin Maude was a liberal frick to stalwart Archie's frack, she got her own show. Maude's maid Florida got her own spin off and Good Times was born. Lear was able to spin off from his original key show and spread his message all across the TV schedule.

The comediennes had arrived during the 70s. Viewers may of had a hard time seeing Mary Tyler Moore stepping away from her Laura Petrie personna to play a single independent career woman, but she took no time in capturing a large audience and go on to create her own TV production company (run with then husband Grant Tinker). The Mary Tyler Moore show was well written and survived spin offs from popular characters like her best friend Rhoda (Valerie Harper) and land lady Phyllis (in a show starring the recent Academy award winning actress Cloris Leachman). Moore's company MTM spawned the Bob Newhart show another popular show of the era keying in on the laid back humor of that comedian. Other comediennes that took center stage were Carol Burnett with her popular variety show along with a supporting cast of crazies and Cher from the Sonny & Cher variety show.

In fact, it was a good time to be a comedian and get a sitcom. The late Freddie Prinze landed in a garage and ended up on Chico and the Man. Gabe Kaplan went back to school in Welcome Back Kotter. Flip Wilson carried the Laugh in tradition on with a more urban kind of variety show.

Garry Marshall stepped from behind the typewriter on Danny Thomas produced shows and started his own legacy with a show like the Odd Couple (straight from the Broadway stage and silver screen) and a little show about the 50s that blossomed into a brand name, Happy Days. Happy Days was a spin off of Love American Style (another 1970s gem) that would run a course over the next decade and more. Happy Days had something that represented a lot of 1970s TV (and future shows), a breakout character. That side character that stepped into the TV viewing audiences psyche and almost takes over the show. While. Mary Tyler Moore had Ted Baxter, the newsman as a popular break out character, Happy Days had Fonzie (Henry Winkler). Fonzie became a television icon.

During the 50s the TV world was saved by Superman. The 1970s hero didn't wear a cape and tights, he wore a leisure suit and he was bionic. The 6 Million Dollar Man (played by Lee Majors) was so popular that it spawned a 6 Million Dollar Woman (Lindsey Wagner). Both shows basically ran their course when it was revealed that their nemesis Sasquatch was an alien. Speaking of aliens, there was no Star Trek in the 1970s, but there was Buck Rogers and Battle Star Gallactica. These were two shows trying to tap into the audience carried over from the big screen Star Wars craze.

Aaron Spelling created jiggle TV with such shows as Charlie's Angels and the Love Boat. Women could still burn their bras as long as they went braless on TV shows that were high on glamor and less on social or political issues.

Speaking of politics, TV covered Nixon's fall from the presidency. He was replaced by Gerald Ford who was lampooned by a new popular late night weekend show called Saturday Night Live. A TV show that broke so many boundaries that it is still popular over 30 years later.

And while the nation was gearing up for a large 200th birthday, TV pitched in with a Bicentennial Minute. Short TV breaks that heralded our history in a lesson that reminded many younger viewers of the CBS Morning cartoon breaks "In the News"!
Olympic coverage in the 70s gave us media darlings like Olga Korbut, Nadia Comaneci and Mark Spitz. It also revealed to the world that the Arab/Israeli struggle has no boundaries. We had our own terror with an Iranian hostage crisis which still has a place in some of our memories when we hear Tony Orlando sing Tie a Yellow Ribbon.

Soap operas became bigger and more popular with the rise of college student viewers. All My Children and general Hospital were aimed at younger viewers and show like Dark Shadows (a Gothic horror ABC afternoon soap opera) was kitschy TV alternative.

Game shows were the perfect place to watch pseudo celebrity A and B listers. These included Hollywood Squares and the Match Game. The only survivors years later were Jeopardy and the Price is Right with host Bob Barker (straight from his gig as host of Truth or Consequences).

TV was starting to aim at the younger crowd with shows like the Partridge Family and the Brady Bunch, a franchise that would live long in many different incarnations. In fact, TV for younger viewers during the 70s all changed with the advent of PBS' popular Sesame Street. This was no longer a Captain Kangaroo generation. There were in fact now more than 3 networks, and growing.

In sports, the Super Bowl became a mega event in the 70s. There was the Superstars competition (an ABC TV created mini Olympics for athletes from all different sports and that spawned into shows like Battle of the Network Stars and Circus of the Stars. Good time to be a star.

Final recollections include M*A*SH and the Henry Blake episode, the winding down of Walter Cronkite's career, Apollo 13 coverage, the Watergate trials, Nixon/Frost (the real event), ABC's Movie of the Week and the advent of HBO. Quite a mixed bag of memories. Could the 70s TV era ever match the Golden Age of Television of the 50s, no! But it was the last hurrah of the Big Three Networks, all before cable completely took hold and changed our viewing habits forever.

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Dating advice for single moms

Dating and the Single Mother.

You are balancing the kids and a daily schedule which may include work, sitters, friends, relatives, shopping and if you are lucky some "Me" time. Your Ex may or may not be in the picture. You may feel alone or alienated from your married and committed friends. You have decided the time is right to throw yourself out there. But how does the single mother start back and succeed in the dating world? It takes some effort and energy on your part. It takes some resiliency and compromise. But follow these Dos and Don'ts and you can ease into the dating world while avoiding pitfalls like relying on the meat market and the bar scene.

1. Men want a woman... Not their Mom! While being a mother hen is a gracious and noble trait, being a woman is foremost the most attractive attribute you bring into dating. Yes! You love your kids. But also, you love your life and are willing to open it up and share it with a friend or partner. Going on and on about school, sports, awards and accomplishments that your kids have achieved are probably the most important topics in your life, they may not have the same impact on your date or partner. Temper your family enthusiasm by gauging the situation. If they seem interested and want to keep that area of the conversation going, continue on. If they are men...they pretty much want to talk about themselves, so you have to balance it all while somewhat stroking their ego as well.

2. Hey! Good looking!... No woman enters the dating scene without some self awareness. If you have lived in sweat pants for the past 6 months, it maybe time to spruce up your wardrobe. If you have been sneaking french fries from your kid's Happy Meals, you may want to become a bit more active. Now saying all that I will add that in dating and having a successful date, one must try to be their true self. If a man doesn't like you for the person on the inside, then they were after a false front in the first place. The same goes for the Single Mom. You want an active man? Become active yourself. Remember you attract the type of personality you want by exhibiting the same traits yourself.

3. "This time around I am going to date someone younger...or richer... or taller...or with more hair!" These are expectations and qualities that some Moms lay out in their quest for the mythical, perfect man. Some reflect causes for the separation or divorce from the Ex. Some are spite. Some are the qualities they wanted since they first started dating years ago. Some are even reflective of their father or a male figure in their life. But love is blind. You may find a man who has all the qualities you sought when you stipulated your date plan, but will you be disappointed when you don't match his checklist?

4. "Hello! I am Carol and these are my kids... where are you going?" Never introduce your kids at the early stages of dating. You cause undue stress for both sides. Yes! To make a committed relationship work there has to be some interaction with the extended members of the parties involved, but not at the outset. You will need time to get to know your date. He will need time to assimilate his place in your kids' world.

5. Sex, Baby!... Lack of intimacy is a double edge sword in the dating world. Men become predators. Women can feel used. But women can be predators, too. After dealing with an extended period lacking some if any physical contact, a powerful romantic interlude can be confused with some heartfelt attraction of the complete being. In other words, just because you feel wonderful does not make him Mr. Wonderful. Not saying that he can't be, but physical attraction is only one component in the successful world of dating. Time and commitment are even more important.

6. "I'm not paying!"... There are some women who believe that the entire financial aspect of any date falls on his shoulders. in some cases this is true, in others it works to both persons' advantage. It's called the Subliminal Compromise. He buys her dinner, she treats him to a picnic...or home cooked meal. He pays for the theater tickets, she finds a concert in the park or gets movie passes. It can all balance out. Sex for a dinner is never part of the balance for either party.

7. The New Dating! ... Dating used to be when someone called another with plans to go out. Today, the rules have all changed. We now live in a 'group meet/hook up later' society. How it works is like this: Your friends (and his extended friends) meet up at some bar, movie or attraction. You all intermingle. You give off some sort of come on signal. You go home. He calls later and asks you to come over to his place or vice versa. Ah! You can just see Cary Grant after a booty call with this scenario. The concept of this new type of dating comes from the aspect that no one wants to get hurt and everyone feels secure in numbers. Crazy, but it works. It is not helping the candlelit dinner restaurants around town, but at least people are interacting and meeting new people.

8. Signals!... Get to know these signs! Memorize these. These are essential in making the dating world successful for you!
~ How you treat a waiter is how you are going to treat him in a year or two. Men know this!
~ Talk bad about your ex or old boyfriends and your date hears his own name by the end of the night! Men know this!
~ When he opens the car door for you, open his door lock immediately from the inside! Men know this!
~ If he wants to open a door for you, help with your coat, hold your chair...Let him! It is a sign of respect! Men know this!

9. Dating Sites!... You have seen E Harmony ads, Match.com. Matchmakers. All of these web sites for dating are all over the web. Do they work? Yes! Sometimes! A lot of men who use these sites are looking for companionship. Many are there just to find hook ups. Women who use these sites can be bombarded with requests for phone numbers, e-mails, dates but mostly requests for hook-ups. Sometimes it seems fun to look through prospective partners and see what they have to offer, but in the long run the larger the number of admirers, the more pitiful the process seems and can depress you as a person. Are there success stories? Sure. But temper your enthusiasm on meeting Mr. Right through a technology that can lead him to your replacement.

10. Then HOW DO I FIND HIM? I tend to go more with the "friends" route. Your friends, even co-workers, should know you and quite a bit of your personality. They should be able to identify quite a few perspective and potential men as date material. Be gracious, not desperate!
Also, get involved in things that you really like to do and you will attract someone with your own interests. Play volleyball? Join a mixed league. Like art? Take a painting class. Want someone with same religious or moral background? Join a Church group single program. There are hundreds of opportunities to meet new and interesting people with your same values and standards.

We all seek some sort of contact. Having children should not be a barrier to finding some adult happiness. Just remember to stay positive. You atttract more flies with honey than with vinegar! Just be happy!

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Financial crisis: There's plenty of blame to go around

I remember when calling a credit card 'plastic' was a derogatory term. You had status if you carried a credit card. Then everyone had one... or six. Anyone could get credit. Banks sent out enough credit card applications that if you had a pot belly stove in your home, you could heat your house for an entire winter using those come-ons.

We were told that a wedding ring should cost three months salary. A house payment should be 30% of your income. If GM goes, so goes the nation... and so many other lies!

This is not any President's fault. This is us! We are pigs! We pretend to live in some disposable society with disposable income, disposable careers ("As soon as I win the lottery..I'm Out of here!") and disposable relationships and marriages. But there was a price to pay. Some day we would have to pay the price for all that delusional indulgence. We reached that day.

Side note: If you have lost money in the stock market and complain all is lost, you should never have invested in the market in the first place. Any real investor has diversified their portfolio into many different streams of wealth and savings. Some just saw the stock market as the 'safe casino'!

To leverage your house 20x over was cause for disaster. But we all thought we could use it as a parachute, since we were lied to and told that 'our homes were our biggest investment' and best way to create wealth. YOU are your biggest investment! How you live your life. How you relate to friends, family, even your spouse. How you were taught responsibility. It is all reflective of just what makes us and breaks us.

No one really likes bail outs, but like when a hit and run driver sideswipes your car and you have full coverage, you get that car fixed... and add that new paint job if the insurance company is looking the other way. We all have been looking the other way for quite some time.

Globally, this is a mess. But using a global example where the rich live in gated communities and crime is rampant everywhere else, Madison Ave. continues to pitch the rosier picture. We could all put a bow on that new Lexus in the driveway at Christmas! But then... even the car companies couldn't sell the lie.

What I am trying to say in this diatribe is that Obama's bailout is a mirror. We don't like the reflection. We don't like gray hair, warts and the worry lines in our reflection. We want a Madison Ave. created reflection and a Hollywood type happy ending. The only ending we are now going to get is the death of the ME Generation. We can no longer do this alone. So get your apology list out for friends and families who may get us over the hump. Get to know your neighbors and learn a few things about bartering. And applaud or reward the success and initiative of those around you who give back more than they take. The walls of the plastic world that we used to live in are now tumbling down.

Obama's message is simple. No matter how we got to this point or who brought us here... what happened was wrong. A safety net is now being constructed... Find a way NOT to use it!

(Final note - Republicans want to know... what is holding up the net? Democrats want to know... how big is the net? The rest of us want to know... just how long is the tight rope?)

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