With the rash of news reports concerning recent celebrity deaths... and photos of moving vans in front of Michael Jackson's home, I have decided to use my marketing skills to promote this service... "Your Final Fuzzy Handcuff Maid Service".If you should die relatively young and completely unexpected, our group of confidential cleaners will come into your selected home, apartment, houseboat, love tryst, love shack, hotel room and clean out any incriminating evidence you may have left behind before heading off to the Great Unknown and afterLife.
Porn?.. we'll get it out of there. Toys?... who needs to know your favorite choice or even the size of your collection. Pictures of anonymous loved ones?.. not even a frame. Little black book?... your little secret is safe with us!
Your Final Fuzzy Handcuff Maid Service removes incriminating spills and spots. It removes awkward wardrobe selections. And of course, farm animals.
Just make us a set of keys... or leave us a larger envelope ($$$$$, wink wink) ... and we will make our own.
We guarantee we will have your place cleaned up and out before the arrival of any relative, tax collector or law enforcement agent or official.
This service gets the Grandmother Seal of Approval! (Your grandma could hold a tea party or Bible study in your place after we get through with it.)
Why embarrass the people you leave behind? Enroll in Your Final Fuzzy Handcuff Maid Service today!
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